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Remember, too, your mom’s relationship to your dad was separate from hers with you.
This last sentence should get an asterisk, yes; you carried trust issues from past relationships into this one.It’s okay that you’re not there yet, especially so young.Trusting others takes an abundance of trust in your own resilience. I’m in therapy but the meeting will most likely happen before my next appointment (and her answer to everything is to meditate). “[T]he thought of spending a couple of hours with someone … I have high levels of anxiety, and met several fantastic guys online, including my husband.
I’ve been chatting with someone online who I look forward to meeting but the anxiety persists. Make it clear you’ll meet at X o’clock, but just a quick date because you have to be at Y by Z o’clock. The near anonymity of online dating makes this more likely. So, think of the things you enjoy, are good at, feel passionate about — and then look for groups that meet frequently based on those interests. Your chances of hitting it off with people (even just new friends) are much higher when you’re comfortable, so let your comfort be your guide. But I have anxiety and the thought of spending a couple of hours with someone I don’t know is enough to give me the sweats. Prepare for the awkward phase by reading The Post, watching Sports Center or “30 for 30,” and skimming People magazine for relatively safe topics of conversation.Seeing a woman with your dad of course will bring up associations with your mother. As you get used to seeing your father with someone not your mother, and as you get to know this woman (or others) as an individual as opposed to just a not-Mom — you will gradually react to them as individuals too. Like them, dislike them, love them, feel neutral, enjoy their company, put up with them for Dad’s sake, avoid them, whatever their characters warrant.