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We have to become the type of person that the person we’re looking for is looking for. But somehow when it comes to love and romance, there is an assumption that we don’t need to ourselves.That somehow commitment will trump the needs for preparation.While the broader culture continues to fight over what “sexual morality” means, one thing is certain: Andy Stanley is determined not to sit this one out.RNS: If these are the new rules for love, sex, and dating, what are some of the old rules that you don’t think work anymore?I challenge guys face to face and have told our whole congregation this, and they are aghast. Men don’t want women to bring secrets into the relationship, why shouldn’t we be open as well.RNS: You say that “love is unnatural.” A lot of people would say love is inherent to who we are as humans and one of the most natural things we can feel or express or do. AS: Love is natural in terms of a feeling, but not in terms of doing.Our sexuality goes way beyond what is physical, and we see that especially in the realm of sexual abuse.

When a woman is raped or a child is sexually abused, they don’t just shake it off and go on as if they were merely mugged.

This is more about getting ourselves ready for the time when we meet someone that there’s chemistry with and we’re falling in love with, we’ll actually be prepared to keep the commitment we’re making.